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LivingWithTrisomy13.org

Ironman for Kids - The Living with Trisomy 13 Community thanks Michael Hennessey for helping to raise awareness for Trisomy 13 and other related disorders. See Video & Details>

A Story of Regret

 

 

 

Letter from Elisabeth
 

Two of my children are in heaven.   One is in heaven because God took her home.  Little Katie was born with Trisomy 13 and lived for only two months.

My other child is in heaven because I killed him. I was a teenager, and when I found out I was pregnant, I aborted so I would not have to tell my parents.  

I am writing because I want you to know which choice I regret, and which choice I delight in.

I look back on Katie’s life with deep joy and satisfaction.  I wasn’t a perfect mom even for those two months; there are things I’d do differently if given the chance!  Yet I look back with the satisfaction of knowing how much I loved her and how well I cared for her.  I think of her in God’s presence - in the presence of the Living God! - and I am filled with deep joy.

My other child is in God’s presence too, but that thought sends me to my knees.  The law says it was my choice to make, but I knew even back then that life and death is God’s business.  I made a decision no human has the right to make, the decision to end the life of an innocent child.  

Five years ago, when my husband and I found out our baby had Trisomy 13, we struggled with the thought that our child might suffer.  Maybe, we thought, it would be selfish to go through with the birth.  Maybe the compassionate thing would be to abort before she ever had to struggle.  

Then we remembered that plenty of people suffer and yet still want to live as long as they can.  Who were we to decide that she should die so she might not suffer?

I also thought about what might be ahead for us.  I knew that some Trisomy children live for many years, and I realized she might need total care.  I worried about the strain on our finances and on our marriage.  Would we be able to handle it?

Here I was, years after my teenage abortion, facing the decision to abort again, and just like the time before, for selfish reasons.  Once again, I was afraid of the way a tiny, innocent baby might change my life.  Would I be able to handle it?

Over the course of Katie’s pregnancy, I thought a lot about this question.  What did I really fear might happen to me if I couldn’t handle it?  Was I afraid of having a nervous breakdown?  Was I afraid I might die? I decided to handle the challenges the same way anybody does--by walking through them one step at a time.  

Life and death is God's business.  You can handle what's ahead.  Your job is simple: just love your children and take care of them the best you can.  

By Elisabeth Slotkin (mom to Katie)

Contact Elisabeth at: (904) 730-9732
(904) 476-6673 (cell)   Call anytime
eslotkin@comcast.net

 
 

 
Physician's Home

Not Compatible with Life, a diary of keeping Daniel
By Kylie Sheffield

Prenatal Diagnosis Information Package - Compiled by Kylie Sheffield (mum of Daniel, full Trisomy 13) in consultation with families on this web site

LINKS FOR PROFESSIONALS FROM MEDICAL AUTHORITIES
Articles on Eugenics, Ethics, Selective Abortion, Selective Induction and the killing of Disabled Children

Personal Qualms Don't Count: Hospital Forces Nurses To Participate In Genetic Terminations 
by MARNIE KO

ESSAYS BY TRISOMY 13 PARENTS
Free literature to share with your patients

WHEN WHAT SEEMS BROKEN IS PERFECT
By Barbara Farlow (Annie's Mom)

The decision to accept disability: One family’s perspective
By Barbara Farlow BEngSci MBA

A Letter to: Pediatric Physicians, OB-Gynecologists, Geneticists & Healthcare Providers, from ThereseAnn - A parent of a Trisomy 13 child

How Our Babies have changed our Lives
by Maria Demers

A Mother's letter to newly diagnosed Families (Printable to have on hand in your office to give to patients) by Julie Sexton

Message to All Obstetricians & Perinatologists
Message to  All Physicians, Specialists, and Doctors Alike  by Mary Mabeus

Letters to Physicians
-Trisomy 13 Survival Tactics
-Patients Plan of Care - Faith in Action
-Considerations in Making a Specified Plan of Care
by Janina E. Arritola

How can anyone say that these children do not contribute to society, therefore what is the point?
by Melissa Roy

Website & Articles for Surgical Procedures for those opting for medical intervention for specific abnormalities.
What is an Omphalocele? The method of delivery will be discussed with you as the time gets closer. The method of delivery is dependent on the size of the omphalocele. If the size is quite large and especially if the liver is involved, the doctor may prefer to do a cesarean section (c-section) to avoid the risk of injury to the liver. Otherwise, the preferred method of delivery is vaginal."

Decompressive cranioplasty may improve the clinical symptoms of children with mild trigonocephaly and intracranial pressure: report of 56 patients - June 5 2004

Mild trigonocephaly with clinical symptoms:  analysis of surgical results in 65 patients
- June 5 2004
Termination, Abortion the only choice?

(A must read for Physician’s who advise parents after early testing and prenatal diagnosis) These women share the immense pain a termination has left on their lives. When counseled by Professionals they were offered no hope. They were not given the option of carrying to term and holding their child, if even briefly. Nor offered the compassionate support this diagnosis requires. Instead these women felt they had to make the heart breaking choice to end their child’s life.
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A Story of Regret - "Maybe if the professionals we had talked to had given us more information we would have made a different choice. To this day, I still live with the pain of the choices we made. Trisomy needs to have a bigger voice and all the professionals need to be more open minded and not so much on terminating
~
Katie -
Full Story
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"It is a choice I cannot live with to this day.  I look at these pictures, read your stories and my heart aches.  Since I had a D&E, I never even got to see or hold my daughter."
~Laurie-Beth Full Story
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After experiencing the effects of an abortion with a previous pregnancy, Elizabeth shares her experiences with carrying to term a child with Patau Syndrome - Trisomy 13.
~Elisabeth Slotkin Full Story
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This is a portion of a speech given by Eagle Forum Alaska  President, Debbie Joslin on the capitol steps, January 22, 2008  Full Story

Click here to download printable LivingWithTrisomy13.org "awareness cards."

Living with Trisomy 13
Focused on prayerful support and gifts of love to those touched by a Trisomy 13 child.
Inspired By An Angel
Attn: LivingWithTrisomy13
15802 Springdale St.. #68
Huntington Beach, CA  92649

info@LivingWithTrisomy13.org

 

 

Text and graphics © LivingWithTrisomy13.org 2005-2007 All information found on this site was submitted to us directly by the families and used on this site with their permission.
Cover photo of Pamela Sullivan & her precious daughter Maria, copyright Pamela Sullivan 2004, used with permission.
If We Hold On Together  Song Copyright 2002 by Patricia Welch, Ltd. All rights reserved.   Used with permission.
 
*Disclaimer
All material on this site reflects our personal journey with raising a Trisomy 13 child. It is not meant to replace any medical advise of a professional familiar with your specific condition. The personal journeys of any parents on this site are only their opinions and their own journey with having a Trisomy 13 child. You should consult with your own physician or other medical professional regarding the opinions or recommendations expressed within these pages as to your own child's symptoms and medical condition.
 

Looking for ALL families who’ve had a trisomy child of any number. Whether you terminated, miscarriage, had a stillbirth, live birth - living or deceased. Including adoptive and Foster parents. Please fill out the TRIS survey  to help update the medical literature and to improve the quality and availability of medical care. Tracking Rare Incidence Syndromes (TRIS)  Click here to add your information

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