Kendall Kalyn Bucher - Trisomy 13 Treasured Memory Photo Album

Kendall Kalyn Bucher

February 16, 2008

Bedford, Iowa - Full Trisomy 13

On October 5, 2008 we found out that we were pregnant with our second baby. We were excited and scared all at once. I was worried about trying to give two babies the love that they deserved. I loved our first daughter, Zoe, so much and I couldn't even imagine being able to give another person that much love and boy was I wrong.

We waited until Thanksgiving to tell our families. We made up this cute little card with a picture of Zoe on the front with a shirt that said she was the BIG sister. I found a poem that was great and I loved it. I remember our families reactions perfectly. They all were so excited as were we.

The next couple of months came and went along with multiple infections. I didn't understand how and why I was getting the infections since I didn't have anything at all happen with Zoe. I now know that it was just a sign from our baby Kendall. On December 19th we had our first ultrasound. Everything looked good except that my placenta was low and they wanted to do a repeat ultrasound in 6 to 8 weeks to check it again. We found out that we were going to have another girl! I was happy that Zoe would have a sister and they were going to have such a great time together. On February 6th we had our second ultrasound. The placenta had moved up! I was so relieved. Then the technician started to look at things more closely. Nathan asked her what she was looking at. She said that it looked like the baby had a SUA (Single Umbilical Artery) which meant that she only had one vein and one artery. We didn't know what to think about it. We went home and googled it to see what it meant. I only did this once for a short period because I didn't want to jump to conclusions. We went to the doctor two days later to go over the ultrasound with the doctor. He came into the room and you could just tell by his actions that there was something wrong. He said that he wanted to send us on to another larger hospital for a level II ultrasound. He wanted to rule out some things. In neither of the two ultrasound already done was the technician able to see her face. He wanted to rule out cyst etc. This worried me alittle. They set up an appointment 2 days later. This worried me also because that was a fast turnaround.

On February 12th we had our level II ultrasound. On our two hour drive to the hopsital I told Nathan that I didn't want an amino. I was scared of the effects that they had. We were in the room with a technician for around 45 minutes. She showed us all the parts and shows us how big her bones etc were. She tried to get a picture of Kendall's face and was unable to do so. She then turned the machine off. Nathan asked her what she thought and she said that it looked like she had dilated arteries in her head. What does that mean? We waited for the doctor to come in and talk to us. He came in and asked a bunch of questions and did all the same measurements that the tech did. He got a look at her face! I can remember it so clearly. He then turned off the machine, put his hand on my leg, and told us the dreaded words...."I'm sorry your baby has a lot of very bad things wrong with her" I thought that he was joking, and when I decided that he wasn't I just lost it. He continued to say that he thought that she had Trisomy 13. She had all the markers of it. I didn't know what this was. He said that Trisomy is incompatible with life. That is a haunting word, incompatible! He sat us down and told us our options. He asked if we wanted an amino. I thought in my head, "what if he is wrong, doctors can be wrong once in awhile" so I decided to do the amino even though I was so against it. Nathan later said that he would have tried to talk me into it if I would have said no. We did the amino and then were sent home. All I could see is the bandaide on my tummy where the needle went in. I wished so much that it would help my boo boo like it does my 2 year old. We got home and went straight to bed and cried. We didn't talk to anyone for 2 days. We got the prelim results on February 14th, yes Valentines day, what a day.

Fast forward....After 36 hours of labor our baby was born sleeping with God. The doctors said that many times once a mom finds out that their baby has Trisomy their baby passes on because of the stress it puts on the mom. Kendall Kalyn was born peacefully at 7:35 a.m. weighing in at 1 lbs 3.4 ozs and was 12 inches long. She looked like her big sister from her mouth down. I know that her appearance looked normal but all her antomy was all interchanged. She had no eyes or nose but looked perfectly great to me. The hospital never took Kendall out of our sight. They took lots of prints of her hand and feet. The hospital had a little set to take an imprint of her hand and foot in a mold. We had her in our room for 7 hours before the funeral home came and got her. It is unbelievable what kind of feelings go through your body when you have a baby one day, get released from the hospital that same day and have to leave without a baby.

I know that we were chosen to have Kendall for a reason. I love and miss her greatly but know that she is in a better place. She is with HIM running around and in no pain. We were hoping and praying for no pain at all for her. I didn't want her to suffer anymore than she had already been through. You learn so much from being chosen to have a baby with Trisomy, I don't think that I could even go into what we have learned. You learn that love is strong and never ending.

It has almost been three months since Kendall went on to be with God. I miss her everyday and think of her more often than I miss her. Sometimes I think that I am so tired of crying and missing her, but I know that everything has a purpose and we were chosen by God to love and cherish Kendall from the day that she was born until we are gone. As long as I live she will live, as long as I live she will be remembered, as long as I live she will be LOVED!

We love you and miss you Kendall!

"Some people only dream of angels,
We held one in our arms"

Thanks-Pam pambucher@frontiernet.net

Pam & Nate Bucher

Submitted 5-9-08

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In Loving Memory of This TreasuredTrisomy 13 Child

In Loving Memory of This Treasured
Trisomy 13 Child