Little Rock, Arkansas - (AK) Full Trisomy 13 – Born at 34 weeks

Kellison’s Story
 

I guess in a mother’s heart you kind of suspect something is wrong, but try to convince yourself that everything is okay…my pregnancy had not been easy. I chalked it up to the fact that I had just given birth to my son four months prior and my life was very stressful at the time.
 
 My worst nightmares became a cruel reality when an ultrasound revealed her heart was not forming properly (hypoplastic left heart syndrome) and that she only had a two vessel umbilical cord amongst other things. That ultrasound at six months prompted me to be sent for an amniocentesis. Shortly after it was performed, I too received the call that my daughter had a “chromosomal abnormality that was incompatible with life” and that “it would be best for me to go ahead and terminate the pregnancy”.
 
I still haven’t let go of the anger towards the medical community for their views about Trisomy 13 and related disorders. I was told that I had to “terminate” my pregnancy and that they basically would not help Kellison when she got here. They have this well-rehearsed spiel about “comfort care”…I wish I were presented with options or that things had not moved along so quickly; I needed to have had time to research and prepare.
 
On the bright side, Kellison was born on October 14, 2004. I was blessed with her for two hours and fifty-one of the most precious minutes of my life. I heard her cry, felt her breath, and kissed her perfect fingers and toes. Every part of me wanted to beg her to stay and fight, but I whispered to her to go be at peace.
 
This grieving process that we as parents embark on after losing a child is the hardest journey to endure. The range of emotions from anger, to disbelief, to sadness…each day is different. Some days are okay and others it hurts so badly that the pain literally chokes me.
 
I do what I can to channel my energies into something productive through volunteer work and reaching out to other grieving parents. I attempt to make her passing into something beautiful and pray each day that God gives me the strength to continue to honor her memory.
 
Her brother Kaleb and I miss her very much, but are so thankful we had her at all.
 

Think of Me
 
When you are feeling a little sad or a little blue,
Look around and you will see I’m here with you.
I’m the bird who soars so high above,
I’m the one that filled your heart with such love.
I’m the smallest bud of a summer rose,
I’m the movement within only a mother knows.
I’m a bright star in the midnight sky,
I’m the sparkle in my mother’s eye.
I’m the ripple in glass like water,
I’m your sweet and precious little daughter.
I’m the beauty in the things you see,
When you look around just think of me.
-Author Unknown

Kellison’s Mommy. Kristen, can be reached at the following e-mail addresses:
 kris10childers@hotmail.com  or at kris10childers@sbcglobal.net  
or visit

www.walkamerica.org/RememberKellison