Christian Konner Deaton
September 29, 2005 - October 1, 2005

Rapid City, South Dakota (SD)

My name is Marianne Deaton and I want to share with you the story of my youngest Son Christian Konner Deaton.  Our story begins in Bitburg/Spangdahlem, Germany and ends in Rapid City, South Dakota.

After a molar pregnancy and a miscarriage my husband Michael and I found out that we were pregnant again on 25 January 2005.  I was excited and scared at the same time.  My estimated due date was 18 September; however when I went in for my first check up on 10 March. They said based on the ultrasound and based on Christian’s size that I wasn’t 12 weeks I was actually only 10 weeks with a new due date of 7 Oct 05, but I thought nothing of it because I knew the new due date was wrong not to mention his big brother was small.

Later when they gave me the option for all the lab tests I told them no because I trusted that he would be fine just like Anthony and I continued to think so until I was sent down town to see a doctor.  At my 20 week ultrasound on 8 June we found out that our new baby was a boy and I thought he looked great.  I didn’t know or think there was anything wrong until my doctor called me concerned with some possible fluid in his kidneys.

On Jun 28th I went to see a specialist in W(V)ittlich Germany, my friend Denise went with me because Mike couldn’t and man am I glad she did.  I don’t think I could have done it with out her… and to you Denise if you are reading this (thank you so much for being there for me when I needed you). We were there for over 2 hours and the whole time they did the ultrasound they didn’t say anything to me about Christian. They kept talking amongst them selves in German.  Talk about making me upset and nervous.  I was real uneasy about then not talking to me.

Denise was awesome she new how I was feeling and tried to talk to me.  The doctor however didn’t like it and told me that we needed to be quiet.  Now, that upset me even more. I just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t talk to me and didn’t understand how Denise talking to me could mess up her concentration. Over all I was starting to dislike the situation.

When the ultra sound was done they walked us out to the lobby and we sat there for almost an hour. She came and got us and took us to an office looking room where she proceeded to give us the bad news.  I remember bawling not crying but bawling.  I didn’t think she was very nice and I remember wishing she had told me what was going on when she had done the ultrasound, and showing me what she had found then not waiting and doing it later.  She proceeded to tell me that Christian had a bilateral cleft pallet and lip, six fingers and toes, as well as a hole in his stomach, and finally she confirmed the fluid in his kidneys.  I couldn’t believe he had all of these problems, he seemed so normal.  I had such a hard time believing, he just didn’t seem like he had these problems. I think the part that hurt me the most was the way she told me that he wouldn’t live after birth, if he made that far.

As Denise and I were leaving I called Mike and told him what they said and he met me at the doctors office on base where Dr Kennedy went over everything the specialist had to him.  He told me I was in denial about everything.  You know what I think I had every right to be, but I also knew that Christian was going to prove them all wrong. After they gave me all the statistics I knew he would be my little fighter and I know he would be special and prove them all wrong.

On July 7th Mike and I went and saw a specialist at the Army base in Germany.  He did a 3D ultrasound and walked through the whole ultrasound with us. Everything he identified what they saw he showed us.  That is what I had wanted with the other doctor. I was beginning to like this doctor.  After we discussed everything he told us that he suspected that Christian had Trisomy 13 and that he suggested we do an amnio to get the confirmation. I remember laughing at Christian because he kicked at the needle.  Have you done that before? Man it isn’t to comfortable and it hurts a little. He didn’t get hurt but it was cute. That night was when I discovered this web site and many others.  I wanted to learn as much about Trisomy 13 as I could. We found out about a week later that he had full blown Trisomy 13.  From that point on my husband went with me to all of my appointments.  

I remember calling my mom and telling her I didn’t know if I could do it.  My mom was awesome and gave me the reassurance I needed. I told her if anything Christian has made and will make me a better person.  

At my last appt in July we asked my doctor if he would do a letter for a humanitarian (a special move to get the military member close to family due to a death or other significant issues) the request was approved and I was on a plane back to South Dakota with our son Anthony while Mike finalized the moving requirements in Germany.  On August 21st Anthony and I arrived in Rapid City South Dakota.  My parents met us at the airport and took us home.  
My first experience with a doctor here wasn’t very nice and I requested a new doctor.  That is when I got Dr. Ballard, an awesome man and doctor. We gave him all of the details of what was going on and he was there for us. He told us that because of Christian’s condition that I would probably go overdue.

On September 28th at about 11pm my contractions started. My little angel was on his way. We checked into the hospital at midnight and found out that my contractions weren’t stable enough so they made me walk around for two hours they said if they didn’t increase that they would send me home.  So, my mom, dad, Mike and I walked. My dad and mike walked with me for about an hr then went to my room as my mom and I continued to walk. By the time the 2 hrs was up I had went from 2 to 4 and the contractions were definitely there and not going to leave so they started the drugs and called Dr. Ballard. Christian was born at 10 am on September 29th.  He was 6lbs 7 oz. 17 _” long.  I loved it because he proved everyone wrong.  Most of the doctors from Germany said he had a 50/50 chance of making it to delivery and a 1- 2% chance after birth. I remember praying to god that he would breathe when he was born and I remember asking him to give us a couple of days with him. I didn’t want to be the only one who had a chance to spend time with him.

Christian had the opportunity to meet his Uncle Steve and Aunt Erin, Dad, Big brother Anthony, Grandma Linda, Grandpa Dennis, Michele (my best friend) oh and I can’t forget mommy when he was born. He got to meet several people from my office as well as Mike’s. The only people he didn’t get to meet on his birthday were His great grandma and grandpa Haag who were on there way from Mitchell, SD and his Grandma Cindy and Grandpa Laney who were on there way from Camden, OH.  They all got to meet him on Saturday Oct 1st.  Unfortunately that was also the day he passed away. He passed away at 4:01pm on October 1st. Dr. Ballard came in hung out with me and Mike as we gave him his bath.  We placed him in a new pair of PJ’s and went home.

God had granted my prayer and gave everyone the chance to meet him as well as giving us a couple of days with him.

I remember him passing away in my arms and I just looked at him and said I am sorry baby but I have to let you go. I couldn’t stand to see him hurt anymore so when he stopped breathing I told the nurses I didn’t want him to be revived that I was going to let him go. People ask me how I do it and honestly I am really torn up about it, I don’t show it that often and I am trying really hard to remember having those wonderful days with him.  He will never be forgotten that is for sure, and he will always be loved. We are going to try again.  We have lots of pictures of him with family and friends. I have pictures from his funeral, but I don’t feel I am ready to look at them so the film isn’t developed yet.  I know one day I will be ready and develop it until then, I will leave it put up.  

I want everyone who reads this to know that no matter what don’t give up on your baby; keep faith in him/her.  They just might fight for you and do what they can. I will always cherish my little one and how big of a fighter he was. I would also like to thank everyone on this site for giving me the strength I needed to be strong for my little angel.  This website is awesome… it was a major information source for me and it was a major support tool for me.

To those who have lost their little angel too remember them and cherish the time you spent with them. I know I always will.

Thanks for all of the support.
Marianne