Levi Edward Bagwell

Due date: May 25th, 2008

Update 5-4-08

I was just sitting here and felt like now would be a good time to update on my angel, Levi.

As many of you know, Levi was born on Friday, April 25th, 2008 at 35 weeks gestation due to my sky high blood pressure. He entered the world at 12:40 pm and it was the happiest and saddest time of my entire life. When I heard him cry for the first time, I thought my heart would burst. He was absolutely beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. Levi was very unique as my other 3 children have dark hair and very dark brown eyes. He was perfect, and I was so proud to be his mom. The NICU team stimulated him a little and when they placed him my arms I felt love like I had never felt before. My husband and I loved him and kissed him and cried our eyes out because God had answered a prayer for us....we wanted to get to meet Levi alive and be able to tell him that we love him...and we were given that chance. We sent for our 3 children and it was so sweet to watch them fall in love with Levi. They all held him and loved him. Our pastor joined us at that time and we were able to lie Levi in my bed, we all laid hands on him and prayed and dedicated him to the Lord. It was a very special time. Levi had many visitors and he got to meet grandparents, an aunt, cousins, and friends.

Around 4 pm, I noticed that Levi was not breathing as easily as he had been. We had the nurse check him and his heart rate had begun to drop. We sent everyone out of the room and Andy and I just loved on him. I took my gown down and laid Levi to my chest with his head on my heart so that he could find something familiar and hopefully comforting to him during his last seconds, minutes, hour. We told him how much we loved him and how proud we were of him. I told him that he didn't have to fight for me or daddy, that it was okay to go. He had been so strong and brave and that we would be okay if he needed to go. He held on for about another hour. He was lying on my chest and his daddy held his hand and stroked his back when Levi went to be with Jesus at around 5:05. We sent for the nurse who called the doctor and Levi was pronounced at 5:24 pm. Levi's life was short...but all he ever knew was unconditional love. We kept him with us until 10:30 that night when the funeral home came to get him.

I left the hospital the next day because I could not bare to be there any longer. I thought it would be easier at home...I had no idea how hard it would be to leave the hospital without my angel though. We made arrangements that same day and planned Levi's memorial service for Monday, 4-28-2008. The service was beautiful and Levi was honored in such a special way.

I am still broken...and miss him more than I desire to take my next breath of air. However, I am so honored and blessed to be Levi's mama. He has taught me so much about life, love, and what is really important. I wish things would have been different, but I wouldn't trade Levi for anything in the world.

Please let me encourage you...if you have been given a fatal diagnosis and don't know if you can get through it or not.....I want you to know that you will experience a love like you have never imagined. I don't regret at all giving Levi life and allowing God to choose his homecoming. This is the hardest thing I have ever been faced with, but I would do it all over again just to hold, touch, kiss, smell, and see my precious baby again....even if for only a few short hours.

Such a short life for my angel...but I know he is waiting on me in Heaven. We planted a tree in the front yard on the one week anniversary of his life and passing. It should bloom each spring around his birthday, and will always be a reminder that Levi is not just a memory but that I will see him again one day.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I need it every minute of every day.

Thanks for all your love and support!

Levi's proud and honored mama, Stephanie

4-23-08
I went to the Dr. this morning only to find out that my body is not tolerating this pregnancy anymore....my blood pressure is out the roof along with some other alarming signs/symptoms. I am also dilated to 4 cm. Although I am not ready AT ALL, my Dr. has decided that I cannot wait any longer, she is afraid that I am beginning to get into trouble. They have set me up for an induction scheduled for Friday (4-25-08) at 6 am.

I am very distraught, not only does Levi have Trisomy 13, he will most likely suffer respiratory distress due to being premature (I am only 35 weeks along). On one hand I want to see him and hold him and on the other hand I want to just keep him inside where I know he is safe and sound...where I can enjoy his kicks and know that as of this second....he is okay and alive.

I don't know what to expect, all I know is that my heart is breaking into a million pieces right at this moment. I will update as soon as I can.

Stephanie Bagwell

I covet your prayers....I don't know how I am
 

4-5-08

Hi, my name is Stephanie Bagwell. I live in Central, South Carolina. My son Levi Edward was diagnosed with Full Trisomy 13 in January, 2008, and is due May 25th, 2008. Levi is our 4th child and we are so in love with him already.

These past few months have been the hardest we have ever had to go through. I will never regret making the decision to carry Levi and allowing God to choose when he goes to heaven. From what I read on this website, many T13 children survive for much longer than expected. I will never give up on Levi, and pray for a miracle daily.

I have been surrounded by a wonderful support system from my OB, support specialist, perinatologist, chief of NICU where I will deliver, to family and friends, etc... I can't thank God enough for that.

The doctors expect Levi to have a bilateral cleft lip and palate, polydactyl on hands and feet, dandy walker cyst, ASD, VSD, omphalocele, umbilical cord cyst, and a pretty severe kidney obstruction. His right kidney is so dilated that it is about twice the size of the left. His weight is good however which surprises the doctors. I am 32 weeks, and his weight is estimated at 4lb and 15 oz. Levi is so active, and I love each and every hiccup, kick, and roll.

As hard as this is, I do not feel "cheated". Levi is a blessing, and I feel honored to be his mom. He has taught me so much about life. Most things in life that we put importance on are just trivial, and have no real worth at all. I will be changed forever by having Levi in my life. How many people can say they have experienced a true miracle? Well I can, from all the statistics....it is a miracle that Levi is still alive even in utero.

As I said earlier, I will never ever give up on him. I will pray for a miracle daily. I serve a big God!

Stephanie sbbagwell@charter.net