Photographs by Fayette Photo

December 28, 2007

We had a Christmas Eve baby - full T13 little girl. It was such a blessing to be able to hold her for a few hours. We buried her next to her Grandmother today. We named her Grace, because God’s grace was poured out on us in such an incredible way through this tragedy.

When the storm hit, it came crashing like a category 5 hurricane.

Evelyn’s water broke a little after midnight on Christmas Eve. Her contractions were close together. It was time to go. The neighbor did not answer her phone. We made another call, then another. The 20-year old son of one of our dear friends was just down the road. We had to leave. I woke up Jonathan (9) and told him to wait by the door until Michael got there. We were scared to leave, but we HAD to go. Jonathan was brave. As we were pulling out of the driveway, Michael arrived. Jonathan did not have to be brave and we did not have to worry. God’s grace was sufficient for us.

We got to the hospital at 12:45. By 1:30, Evelyn was in hard labor and about to give birth, but the baby was breech, feet down. The doctor was not there yet. By the time the doctor arrived, Evelyn was ready to push the baby out. The doctor told us that they did not deliver breech babies and that Evelyn would have to have emergency surgery – a c-section. I knew that in saner moments, Evelyn would not want to have the surgery, but she was telling the doctor to do whatever it took to save her baby. She was terrified. I protested. Suddenly it was a moot point. Grace came to us feet first and slipped into (a very surprised) doctor’s hands. Evelyn did not have to have surgery and Grace was beautiful. God’s grace was sufficient for us.

The cord was cut and Grace did not cry. She had no heartbeat and she was not breathing. She was given CPR and she finally responded. She was stabilized and taken to the newborn ICU. The doctors confirmed what we had seen in the ultrasounds. Her body was not able to function on its own. The storm was raging, but God’s grace was sufficient for us.

God’s grace was poured out on us by a staff of compassionate nurses, doctors and technicians. Some of them ministered to us so effectively and so beautifully that I wonder if they were placed there at that time especially for us. They went so far beyond the call of duty to comfort us and take care of us. I wonder if I were to go back to the hospital and inquire about them if I would be met with blank stares – “I am sorry, no one by that description has ever worked here.” They were like angels from God – like anchors in the storm. God’s grace was sufficient for us.

Evelyn’s heart’s desire was to be able to hold her baby – if only for a few minutes. Her desire was met abundantly more than she could imagine. All five children and one set of grand parents were able to meet little Grace. The children were allowed to spend as much time as they wished loving on her – they rubbed her little head, poked her little toes and talked so sweetly to her.

After they left, we had a photographer come and take pictures of us holding Grace. We knew that we did not have much time. Just as the umbilical cord shrivels at birth, there is also a passage in the heart that shrivels at birth. The doctor had told us that when this passage was closed, that no amount of oxygen could sustain her. This little passage was doing the job of her missing artery and allowing her a few precious hours of life.

After the pictures, Evelyn and I went back to our room with Grace and held her and cuddled her as her heart beat got slower and slower. We were so thrilled that she could respond to our voices and to our touch. We showered her with our kisses and our tears. As we held her, the storm raged. God had given us Grace and his grace was sufficient for us.

The doctor come in one more time and listened for a heart beat. Silence. Grace had slipped away. The storm was raging, it was tearing at our hearts, but God’s grace was sufficient for us.

We held her for quite a while, but soon realized that our little girl was not with us. We squeezed and held her broken earth suit as if she were still in it ---- but of course she was not. It was like the many times that I have found a little one-zee in a drawer and picked it up and squeezed it as if one of our babies were still it - letting the happy memories bask over me while holding the empty shell. It was the same way with Grace. We held her empty shell and wept. We clung to each other – and to grace - and we finally gave our little girl to the nurse to take away. But really she had already flown away. The storm in our heart was intense and painful. We took comfort in the fact that her Grandmother Joyce, Grandmother Brown, Grandmother Marchman, Grandmother Kitty, Pappa and so many others were there to greet her and welcome her in to the arms of Jesus. She was now God’s Grace.

As we gather together today, we are in the calm eye of the storm. The joy and peace of being surrounded by those that love and care for us gives us great comfort. Thank you so much for your presence today. Your outpouring of love means so much to us. Thank you. We feel your love and we are blessed to have such wonderful family and friends. One of the worst parts about moving from Tallahassee was the thought of leaving our dearest friends at the single point in our marriage that needed them the most. However, once again, God’s grace was sufficient for us.

We are so blessed to be a part of the body of Christ where total strangers to us – people we have only known for six weeks or so have taken such good care of us. As soon as we moved, we met several families – all in the same Sunday School class that have walked this same path. It was a miraculous coincidence – the hand of God moving in and around our lives. He continues express His grace to us through this precious group of believers. In first John, we are told that we can identify the true Christians by their love for one another. We were so pleased to report that the body of Christ – the sweet love and fellowship between believers - can be found outside our precious circle of friends here. Our God is a big God and we have found that he can love you where you are. His grace finds you - and it is sufficient.

We are not angry at God. Quite the opposite is true. Our faith has been strengthened through this trial. We have been overwhelmed by his grace and the love of his children each step of the way.

We know that this is just the eye of the storm. In the days ahead, there will be more grief...and more grace.

We covet your prayers for our family.

We take comfort in these passages:

Is55 Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace:

Ps 34:14 The lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

1 Samuel 3:18 (Eli says upon hearing that his sons would die): “He is the Lord; let him do what is good in his eyes.”

Rom 8:28 All things work together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose

Job: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Psalm 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life. You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Others…..

Thank your for being here today to celebrate with us the life of our little Grace.

Our faith and our peace is that

From this day and forever more she will be God’s Grace.

Barry & Evelyn barrymarchman@yahoo.com

Song: Lisa Mitchel

Grace Greater Than Our Sin, Julia Johnson, Daniel Towner
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
Freely bestowed on all who believe!
You that are longing to see His face,
Will you this moment His grace receive?

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.

Closing Remarks and Prayer: Rev. Marty Smith

Grave Side Scripture and Prayer: Rev. Marty Smith