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Photos by
Deborah
Hendrix a
volunteer with
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
So much of the stress and worry was gone
and in its place, a deep satisfaction that I can say
that I was able to hold my baby Jonathan all of his life.
He was precious. His name means "given by God"
and he certainly was.
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8-25-09
On
Friday, August 21, at 9:32 a.m., we welcomed Jonathan Mark Spaugh into
our family. At 10:34 a.m., Jesus welcomed our Jonathan into Heaven.
He was a tiny, precious, peaceful gift, weighing 2 lbs., 11.8 oz.,
and measuring 16 3/4 inches.
For
that hour, I felt that I got to do something that not many get to in
this life. I got to hold onto a piece of eternity -- a glimpse of
what awaits me in Heaven. I had asked another mom who has loved and
lost her baby to Trisomy 13 when you ever find peace in dealing with
this while I was still expecting. When I shared the news with her of
Jonathan's arrival and how peaceful he was, she suggested that that
may be the answer to my earlier question.
We
were blessed in many ways that day. Aside from the fact that my
husband was terribly sick (diagnosed with pneumonia only the day
before and running high fever), God answered so many prayers for us
that day. I struggled while I was pregnant with fears about the
"what ifs" and whether we would make the best decisions for our
baby.
Going
into labor two months earlier than expected without any warning
stopped the dread of the approaching due date. Then, Jonathan was
here and not struggling or suffering and it was in that that I found
my peace. He never opened his little eyes -- just slept in my
arms. It's as if he just wasn't even meant to see this world; he was
destined for a far better place.
On
the way to the hospital, I told my husband that I hoped that the
doctor who had performed our amnio and told us of the results was
the one on call because he had been so very compassionate in dealing
with us. When we got there, we found out that he was the doctor at
the hospital -- another answer to prayer.
All
of the nurses attending to us and to Jonathan were divinely
appointed to be in that room with us as well. There could not have
been a more kind and compassionate, sensitive group of ladies caring
for us that day.
So
much of the stress and worry was gone and in its place, a deep
satisfaction that I can say that I was able to hold my baby Jonathan
all of his life. He was precious. His name means "given by God" and
he certainly was.
I
grieve the loss of him. the time I was able to hold him was too
brief. But I know he is in Heaven, he has a perfectly healthy little
body and will never feel pain, sickness, or sadness. And he will
always be my son. I cannot wait to meet him again and share eternity
with him. I never heard him cry on this earth, but I know one day I
will have the joy of hearing him laugh!
Kelli Spaugh
spaughs5@triad.rr.com
7-26-09 My name is Kelli Spaugh. I live in Clemmons, NC, with my husband,
Chris, and our three sons, Zachary (8), Austin (5), and Nolan (2).
We found out in February that we were unexpectedly expecting again. We embraced the thought that God had chosen to add another miracle
to our family. In April, I went in for an ultrasound that revealed
that our baby had a cystic hygroma, which the doctor explained meant
that the baby had a 50% chance of having chromosomal abnormality. In
May, the next ultrasound revealed "indicators" for Trisomy 13. We
chose to undergo amnio on July 1 and the results confirmed that the
baby has Trisomy 13. We are still coping with this news and what
lies ahead.
We know that all children are gifts from God. We are
struggling to find peace and trust His plan in this. My due date is
October 22. We found out through the amnio results that we are
expecting another little boy, whom we will name Jonathan.
Kelli Spaugh
spaughs5@triad.rr.com
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